you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
