I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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