the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
