mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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