Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
