I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize