i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
