he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
try to milk me bitch
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
