don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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