the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
