so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
