she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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