I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
