i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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