dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
