I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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