I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
