Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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