I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
