my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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