"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
