Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
