He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
my god I love twenty year old dicks
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
