Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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