He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
