Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
