Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize