I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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