Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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