would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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