p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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