I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
