dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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