Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
