It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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