Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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