Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize