why do cheetos always look like penises
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
