I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize