i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize