Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
