I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
