dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
