I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
