we have pet lesbian snakes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize