Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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