I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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