haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
