She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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