I can tuck mytits in my pants
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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