bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
