Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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