I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
