ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
