all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
