My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
