I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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