What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
please come you make the beer taste better
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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