writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
