Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
