Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
