Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
