I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
