I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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