Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
